Shop More Submit  Join Login

:iconchineselung: More from ChineseLung

More from deviantART


Submitted on
April 14, 2011
File Size
7.0 KB


1 (who?)
(this is based on eyewitness accounts and true events that happened to me after my surgery. I do believe this was and is real and I hope you guys like it.)

My life has been nothing. Just a regular kid trying to survive in the big world. My life has been filled with misery, anger and confusion. I had no angel speak to me. I had no spirit guide me. I gave way into sin and fought my way through elementary and into middle school. Then, when I finally meet great friends who become family and the hurricane of my life seems to disappear I was diagnosed with a tumor. I was completely emotionless at the time. I didn't care at all. How heartless can I be? I'm facing Death! I'm facing the near end of my short life! Don't I care? ... No, ... probably not. That was me before I met him.

After the surgery I was completely numb. I couldn't move. I couldn't ignore the pain. Nine staples pierced my flesh and mocked my health and survival of the years to come. I was almost starved to death ... If it weren't for my friend doing the right thing I would probably be as thin as a skeleton by now. And yet here I am, in front of God begging for the pain to stop.
My friends cried. My family prays. My church pleads to God for my recovery. And me ... I don't do anything at all. I don't cry, or think about how I'm going to live like this. All I think about is well, nothing. Nothing at all.

I sigh in guilt and gently close my eyes with the sound of the heart monitor beeping in my ears. I listen to my heart as it sings me to sleep with slow beats. Then, I suddenly find myself in a dark place. I was confused and the pain from my scar was no longer here with me. I can walk again. I'm free. But where am I?
I look down and see a man in a read robe sitting in front of me. He had dark hair like mine and half of his face was shadowed from the nose up from his stringy bangs. He smiled gently at me and held out a large red book. Inside the book were red pages and in gold, on one of the pages, was a prayer... a beautiful prayer.
"Come pray with me." he says.
"Who are you?" I ask him.
"Just come pray with me." He replies. I did what he said and sat with him and prayed with him. I don't know why but  I was very comfortable with him. And once we finished, I looked up above me and started floating toward a white light. Then, the next thing I know I'm back in the hospital bed and I think about what had just happened. I didn't even know his name, so why was I so comfortable with him? Hopefully, I'll know one day.

Back on my feet finally after the surgery. I am weak, but not too weak. I feel like I'm being watched by something ... or someone. But enough about being paranoid, again I lay my head to rest, my sister laying on the floor so my scar won't be disturbed by her sudden kicks. Finally, I slowly drift into sleep and finally relax. My eyes blink one minute and open again the next. Is it morning already? Where's my sister? Where's my family? I'm alone.

A voice calls to me. At the foot of my bed I see a man. He had long black hair, and pale, white eyes surrounded by thick, black eye-liner. He had pale white skin, a muscular body and a gentle spirit. He gently smiled at me and touches my face. I touch his hand and he speaks to me.
"I see you're doing well," I heard his thoughts, "I am the angel who visited you. I am Azrael."
"The angel of death?" I asked through thought.
He giggled, "Yes. I am... don't be afraid." His face leaned into mine and he gently kissed me. I felt my heart stop for a second as he released to kiss. I couldn't help but return the kiss. The next thing I knew he laid me down and well... you know, we sort of did it. Now, I don't know really why he did that, and why I was sucked into it when I barely know him, but he did. We did. And I wanted to know why. And once we stopped he finally told me in a soft voice, "I'm gonna come back for you." I know bad timing to say that, but I guess he just wanted to be a surprise. Anyway, I look at him and I was in shock ... and finally I wake up.
After that he has been visiting me for brief periods of time. He has even kissed me as I lay to sleep and admitted he loves me. And I him back because he taught me so much.  He taught me how to be passive, gentle, friendlier, and to walk away when trouble is at my doorstep.
Funny, he also defends me. Like the other day at school, some idiot was being up in my face and I felt someone growl right behind me. I knew someone was not behind me at the time, but I knew it was Azrael protecting me.

It felt like he was saying, "Leave her alone!" and plus being a Grigori, or Watcher, I pictured him revealing fangs to the kid who tried to start a fight with me. He was being aggressive when he needed to be. Plus, he shares a sense of jealousy when I hugged an ex-boyfriend of mine. He became angry and wanted me to get away from him for some reason.
He said, "Why do you hug him?"
I answered, "Because I still like him. Is that a problem, Azrael?"
"No ..." he said, "I just don't want to loose you. I love you."

"I love you, too." I said gently, "But please calm down." He agrees and allows me to wander around freely. Since then, he's been very passive of the people I meet and shares a curious side to a friend of mine; pulling her hair and accidentally giving her chills. He's very funny when it comes to his curiosity, and very gentle to when I bump into an emotional breakdown.
He's not really what people think he is. Azrael's gentle, sweet and  protective. He tells me things I should know and gives me advice on what to do next such as playing for my church band and trying out for drum-major. Sometimes I think he's a little over the edge with these things, but I do what he suggest what I should do and hope for the best. Azrael awaits for me until Armageddon, and can't wait to see me face to face. But it all feels like this can't be happening... but it is. Azrael's here with me and always will be even after death has taken over me. I await for that fateful day as well ... but I'm afraid and hope my time won't come soon between now and Christ's return.
Azrael is my love. He is my protector and my guide. I was once lost and now I'm found. He wakes me gently every morning and talks to me through out the day.  He kisses to cheeks of my flesh and soul and embraces me in his arms and wings.  Azrael, my dusk lays me in bed and we look forward to the next day. I close my eyes finally and listen to his sweet voice whisper in my ear:

Sleep my sweet soul ,
Dream the night away.
By dawn, I'll wake you,
So we can love another day.
My wings will warm you,
My heart will love you,
Each day, everyday
I'm always here for you.
Don't you cry.
Don't you scream.
Just sleep my love,
'Til morning and dream.
Ok, fyi , this IS, emphesis on IS, a true story. i cut the sexual part out cuz it may be too graphic for the faint of heart but you guys get the point. I'll upload a picture afterwards when I edit this and you guys will know what I saw. . . and p.s. he's here alright. i can feel him next to me typing this 0 3 0
Add a Comment:
chilipepper888 Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2014  Student General Artist
Wow,I wish I could see my guardian angel. Btw are they even allowed to " do it " with people? Just curious.
ChineseLung Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
no that's why i was concerned afterwards :p 
Keara1925 Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
:( when was the last time you seen azrael? because the angel of death is Gabriel but there is also a demon of death.
ChineseLung Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
The last time I saw him was in another dream I had a few nights ago. He was with the seven angels and he just came to see how I was doing ... I was happy to see him another time :) 

As for Angels of Death I'm not so sure because it says that Gabriel, Michael and Azrael are them. But I'm not entirely sure 
WolfyKat Featured By Owner May 1, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I've had a similar experience. Minus the sex. Strange he seemed different in personality to me.
ChineseLung Featured By Owner May 1, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Ehhaha yeah I have the craziest dreams ... I think it was the medication o.O
WolfyKat Featured By Owner May 1, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Awe D:
ChineseLung Featured By Owner May 1, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
yeah :p ... I don't know he just popped out of nowhere.
WolfyKat Featured By Owner May 2, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Well What's highly possible is that he was there. And while you were medicated it allowed you to "see" him based on the chemical signals your brain was giving off.

Spiritually it's impossible to actually "see" spirits, because it's very hard for them to manifest into a visual form. Ghosts drain your energy, or any energy source to be near physical. That is if Ghost Adventures is to be believed. Which I think they are, but that can be argued from other stand points. Moving on...

So since our brain is physically incapable of seeing spirits, as what Angels and Demons are, why do we only see them close to death? Or under medication. My theory is that as we are dying, or medicated, that is when most people become more perceptive to the spiritual environment. Your brain, not entirely sensing these, gives form to these "illusions" and often they will be something we are familiar to. Such as, perhaps just a white misty substance. Or a tall, dark, red eyed figure with massive wings. Or the same figure, but without wings. The important thing is the fact that you can actually sense the spirit nearby, and you Know who it is.

That is something that the human mind cannot physically comprehend. In saying that, that is why it is very difficult to prove my theory correct to skeptics, because there is no physical or hard evidence. The only people who would even agree to me would be those who have seen these "illusions" or sense a nearby presence.

Everyone has a guardian angel. There are a lot of angels who are assigned to multiple people. Azrael is my guardian too. And I've had several near death experiences, some impossibly intervened with moments of black out were I cannot remember exactly how I got there. The same male voice that I've heard different times woke me up when I fell asleep inside a snow drift. The same voice shouted Go Away during a highly real ghost attack by a spirit driven to kill me, for what reason I have no idea.

Since we cannot physically hear or see these spirits, instead our own spirit senses these things, and as spiritual hybrids, it sends signals to our own brains. Some people would perceive Azrael as female, with a feminine voice, were as I perceive him to be a male. But spirits are genderless. They can become something visually close to a gender, but no genitalia as far as mating concerns. But others perceive compassion and love to be sex. Where as I do not. I see it as a purely physical human thing, and so I have never had any sexual experiences with any spirit.

That said, I have a friend who gets visited every night by a not so nice spirit, who is guarding her from the "legion" and protecting her. He also apparently does it to her every month in her dreams.

But moving on once again.

When people say there are messages in our dreams, there really are, sometimes. If ever in a dream you focus on certain things, like in a nightmare, you suddenly are focusing on the blood letters on the wall. As if it were being pointed out to you.

Our minds cannot perceive what the message really is, because it's not physical. So these thoughts and emotions get turned into silly tales and vivid dreams. What is important is what you are focusing on. i know it sounds silly to use a dream dictionary, but if you intend on using it, messages will become more available to you, as whatever message is trying to come through will have a way of communicating. IF that makes sense.

But not everyone get's these dreams. Not everyone has the perception. The "sight" if you will.

But.... This ability, like all other abilities and talents..... can disappear. Some have this ability, and quite literally go insane. Talking about this in public, of course brands the speaker crazy, especially by skeptics.

but like all religious skeptics, they are either too afraid of what it would be like if it were true.


They just cannot believe in what they can't physically sense.

Most will disregard what I say, and brush it off. But I absolutely cannot ignore the facts in front of me. The spiritual world has fascinated me for over a decade. And I'm bound and determined to figure this out. This is my conclusion upon 13 years of speculation, others accounts of such, and past accounts of these things.

And as a note. I think you may be interested in. Across religions, only Michael, Gabriel, and Raphael are collectively named to be Archangels of the Seven. It is my firm believe that each of the Seven presides over something important. And Azrael, who is an Archangel, is one of the Seven. His job is way too important, and he is way too powerful, for him to not be.

On a side note, I do not follow any particular religion, as I am open minded and just compare and contrast several religions without claiming they are wrong. I feel like every religion, every REAL religion (which doesn't involve a gigantic money scams, aka Cults xD) has at least one value of truth. If that makes sense.
ChineseLung Featured By Owner May 3, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Interesting I do believe it was Azrael who visited me and I'm starting to think maybe I was in an odd dream and since he was near I saw him in my dream. I remember trying to tell my parents and showing them a picture of what somewhat looks like him, but mother, being a Christian, had her doubts and was worried that he was a bad thing.
My family has had a history of having dreams of spiritual beings, especially seeing Christ but never saw any angels. I guess I might as well consider myself the first. And between you and me, my character Azrael was drawn with the same features and never changed and it was almost a year before I saw him. I don't know if maybe he appeared the way I pictured him or if that is really what he looks like.
Add a Comment: